I was awfully fatigued last night. Could have it been due to some sleepless nights? I didn't do any writings which I have been so eagerly trying to do (is this a sheer excuse? :p). I wonder, after having so many times crossing my fingers hoping something will turn out well, I bet those fingers have been 'disentangled' by now and maybe could not be bend either :p Where can I find the courage? huhuhu ..I thought I've got it with me already.
Today, I was thinking of putting an entry about the 'unnecessary trials' I have encountered previously here in Lugano. But hey, why do I care to reminisce all unpleasant and appalling stories for all I know it can further deteriorate my existing depressing condition? So the idea is now officially halted!
I have been staying here for almost two years now and I presumed I have known Switzerland well, if not all. Can you believe it that today is a public holiday for Switzerland and maybe some other European countries too? My housemate and I are not aware of it all. Back home, in my case, public holidays are the most waited for. The first thing that I do with my calendar - marking all public holidays so that I know exactly when can I have longer sleep than usual and which days to 'pause' from suffering a congested road to the office.
I am not sure now if I am being insensible about what is happening around me. Could it be my student status that induces me just not to bother about it, since I have many holidays on my own at any days I want? Ina went to town centre around 2p or 3pm and to my surprise, she returned home after 30-40 minutes away, with a frustrated look. All shops were closed (on weekday) and that was how we got to know it is a public holiday. What a good indicator :p
I had another round of body massage just now – as usual with Ina’s magic hands. I have accidentally replaced the blood in my body with air – I bet breathing too much fresh air is not so good either :p. With a glass of hot ginger drink, I keep on burping now. I hope I won’t be burping until morning though.
Mmm...my initial plan is to do some writings today. I wonder where have my courage and strength gone missing. My other half used to tell me - you are a strong woman, you plan things well etc.... Now where have these values gone? Between a strong courage and discouraged I don’t seems to know which suits me best now.
Come on! Wake up! I must start writing no matter what. I hate to count the days of me returning home but for the sake of my thesis, and as a self-reminder, nonetheless I must to do it. Albeit, I have not yet confirmed my exact returning date with JPA but my agreement with them will cease by 13 September 2009 provided the defence/viva session of my thesis is done later than this then I have extra days delay.
Damn it! Why am I so hopeful? I am just too pathetic, contemplating a miracle to come and anticipating things that will never happen! Facts cannot be faked! The reality is I must return home in September!
Now...stop rambling and start writing, please!
0 comments: